Ok, I have been very honest -- I don't want ANYTHING to do with these people any more. Now this is what I am getting, from friends that are "staying friends with both parties." I don't much care who you stay friends with, but don't bring their BS to me ... go it?

1st email (entire email) ... "Babies and what not" "Let me know if you're interested in details. If not, that's fine too, but I thought I'd offer."  This was sent aftre I stated about a good 20 times "I DO NOT WANT TO KNOW." Did I miss something in that picture or not?? I made a nice attempt to end this topic by replying "At this time, I will pass on that. I have heard enough because Joe 1 told Joe 2 enough ... We can talk later." But to be honest, it did not end. Later I was asked if I was going to make her decide between friend!!!! Just how hold are you???  (5 maybe??? )

2nd quote (not all of email just a quote) ... "I don't know what all happened with you and the FRG, of course, and you have to make your own decisions. It is all so complicated - everyone is really wrapped up in their own world, especially now before the deployment and whatnot, and while some may have meant to be bad, I'm sure not everyone could have. Part of the problem with appearing so strong all the time is probably that people don't think to offer you help - they think you've got it all under control, so unless you ask for it, they might not offer it. It's a catch-22 in that regard."  Now here is where I got to give it all to her. Because I had completely had it, I have talked, explained, email ... you name it. It wasn't hitting the picture. When my hubby says I can hold a grudge ... hon, he ain't BSin'! "I will explain because unfortunately there is a lot of "catch 22's" that people aren't getting. I did ask for help, I got blown off. I got insulted when I started working, any ideas I suggested were treated like the most annoying or stupid ideas. When I ASKED for things NOT to be repeated they were to others by people that I believed I could trust -- they were told to all.

In the end, the only time any one from ##### calls me is when they need some thing. When they need me to them up from an airport, when they want me to pick up a crib, mattress & dresser, when they have a child who is going thought the same problems with ADHD that my child when though in school ... But they do not call me any other time? No ...  

I get the bullshit of "how we love you" ... only problem is I am not stupid, naive or a complete moron. I asked for help, we were blown off ... at one time, there was a point where I was unable to ask & yet they had no common sense to ask my husband if we needed help. (They knew about it, because they asked me later if I was ok ... silly to see if we need help when it was happening.)

I tried extremely hard when all this started. I walked in to FRG meetings & planning events... to be insulted by the 1SG as well as other wives. I have been to other vents & had to hear wives insult me left & right, as well as to my face. I kept my head up, & dealt with it ... but when it kept going on & on. I hit a point where my self-esteem was more important than ##### was or keep friendships with them -- seeing they were doing it, even when they were asked to STOP.

You have any idea what it was like to have something I vented go to another person? As soon as they were done talking to me, they called the other person & told them! When I found stuff out about St Barbs, they promised they would not give it to any one -- they did. When I said I did not trust a person, they told that person. These were from "friends" who made promises & could not keep what they said. But interesting I have ...

It came down to I trust people & they turned on me in several ways. They told took what I told them & told it anyone who would listen.

I tried extremely hard to give them plenty of time ... & had it thrown in my face time & time again. I had things I trusted, told to others & plus make the mistake of bringing my husband in to this situation. These are not "friends" these are individuals who have betrayed me, abandoned my children & me (when asked), used & blown me off. It did not happen over night this happened over months of time ... I gave them time to correct this. I even made it very verbal when I was upset & it went straight them because after all they "friends."

Do you know what it is like looking at a person & trying to tactfully talk to them knowing they have been told what you have said in venting? Something you said when you are angry? I have had to do this often because a few of them have done this ... even though I have respected what they have said to me & not told anyone about it.

I still walk with my head up, because in the end ... I didn't betray a person I claimed was a "friend." I didn't bail on anyone, I was there until I honestly couldn't take any more lies, two-faced conversations, or the insults.

It's not the FRG ... it's ##### individuals. Although I don't agree with the last meeting, they made that choice & it was their choice. I have a right to be angry after what I have been though with my kids plus I was exhausted. See, if they will turn on me ... who is next? Iraq will sadly be miserable for them ...

I will act pleasant, & polite when & if I see them but that is all ... I will not help & they will won't have contact with me. My only contact will be with Rear-D commander, if I so see fit ... because all in all, when I walk away it will be above & beyond what they are capable of dealing with.

As for the rest, I am glad you got a good meal ... & I hope this explains a bit to you."    

Sad part is she still doesn't understand ...  After all I should walk off from them. Why shouldn't I??? I have been having this discussion with her for a while. Alone with the damn one about the baby ...

I DON'T care any more ... what part don't you understand?? Yet she doesn't get it. I have even told her this ... yes you are a friend, but you are one dense person. (An she wants to be a laywer .... how?)Guess seeing I am the one who is the mother, she want to practise her lecturing on me???

 

PS excuse my spelling ... it always sucks

 

5 Positive Things:

 

* Growing Strawberries

* Making puzzles

* re doing my living room

* re doing my den

* re doing my kids play room