I so hate myself today for doing it. I made my babies watch as he got on the bus ... they cried so much. It tore me apart, but I have always let them walk way from this before. I decided this time they needed to stay to watch him leave this time, to see him get on the bus ... to know that he was gone. You have to understand my kids are older, not actually "babies" ... hell they don't need sitters if that tells you anything ... but they cried & wanted to get in the truck. They even had an officer in tears!!!
It tore me apart to make them stay I keep telling them they have to watch him ... for themselves. In the past we have such a horried time after he's been gone, that this way I though it would help. (It did to be honest, but I will get to that later.) My kids are always so strong, they lost it ... but they stayed & watched. I was amazed, but they did ... crying & all.

Normally we go though about 2 weeks of nights of hell & days too ... but right now they listened & got the idea. You have to learn to release those you love, and know they will do what they can to come back. Even in this time ... they slept great today. (seeing we didn't get in til early today) They have been so supportive of each other this time around & stuck together. They seem to have accepted the fact easier this time ... last time was 2 years ago, & they did not watch him leave.

I always watched my father load up on the veh & leave. Knowing that he would do his job & try his hardest to come back. That is what I kept telling them last night & this morning ... he loves you & he do his job the best he can to come back you. Right now you have you have to do your best to watch him leave understanding this. It does help complete that "step" in seperation.

I won't say it is because they are all 2 years older. I won't say it will be easier this time because they had to watch. It is never easier on anything like this ... & if you think it is, you really need your head check. Sometimes you just have to try things to help those you love to make it easier ... even if it does make it harder for them at the time. A good cry always does help ... and they sure had one.

Pity I cannot just pause their lives for a year ... then he can come back & they would never know. Life would be so much easier for them, but they would never learn to release those they love either. One of the hardest things in life ... at a young age, & they have learned it.

5 positive things:

* I got 4 hugs just because ...

* I am suppose to play "pick up sticks"

* I watched the "Last Holiday" with hubby

* learned how to do make background for my daughter's page

* on the search for new notebook for hubby